Our Cars: 1998 Toyota Avensis 1.8GS
6 January 2015: Too much information?
The Details
| Current mileage | 149,100 |
|---|---|
| Actual economy | 35mpg |
By Martin Gurdon, contributor
I have nothing against cyclists, but there’s a sub species who’ve rather tried my patience.
They tend to be white collar, alpha males in Lycra, which accentuates some of the older ones’ middle-aged spreads. This, along with their gurning, perspiring faces, is not pretty to look at. There’s also a whiff of sanctimony amongst some of them, as they ride two or three abreast down our local lanes, blocking any opportunity to pass them in a car. I understand entirely that there are plenty of idiot drivers who will try overtaking on blind bends or risk shoving them into ditches, but the subtext of ‘I’m stopping you being stupid as I engage in my healthy hobby, and you can just wait until I think It’s safe,’ can be an irritant. The divide between road safety and masculine control freakery is sometimes ill defined.
Recently there’s been a spate of cycle club rallies in our part of Kent, where hundreds of these people take to the roads, abetted by stern faced marshals in luminous tabards, waving little flags. Get wedged in the middle of one of these events and a short journey will turn into a long one.
This recently happened to me, the Avensis and Hoover, our 15-year-old terrier dog. Hoover is slightly younger than the Toyota, and thanks to his dodgy thyroid, dodgy pancreas, skin problems and diabetes, costs rather more to run. The diabetes requires twice daily insulin jabs, and is currently under control, but until recently he’d been drinking vast quantities of water, which meant he was impersonating a fire hydrant the rest of the time.
Hoover and I were in the car when we became ensnared in bike rally that slowed us to a crawl. After a while sad squeaks from the back of the car indicated that Hoover was crossing his legs. On the parts of the road where it would have been safe to pass and rush for home, the Lycra wearers fanned out to prevent it. There was nowhere to stop without forcing the ones coming up behind onto the wrong side of the road, risking their being in the path of an oncoming nutter, so we crawled forward.
The squeaking became more insistent, and then I heard water feature noises. This was unpleasant, but had it happened in a new car with electrical ancillaries stuffed under the seats it could have been a real pain, and I blessed the Avensis for its simplicity and complete lack of emotional capital. Later my wife pointed out that the dog had been drinking so much water that what he’d produced was mostly H20, which cheered me up some more.
I gave the terrier-dampened seat a thorough scrub with soap and water, ran a wander lead to the car and used it to power a de-humidifier. Twenty-four hours later everything was bone dry and innocent of evidence of the previous day’s horrid events. Just as well because friends were visiting us who needed collecting from the station. I did not mention what had happened when they climbed into the car.
« Earlier: An alarming incident Later: Sound charades »
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